Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Internet Rage

We’re a little more than a month into The Memory Eater project, and it’s coming along far better than I had expected.  There are already enough submissions to release a full-length book, and if my predictions are correct, there will be an influx of stories near the deadline.

To all of those who have already submitted, thank you again.  And to those who said they plan to, well...

Now, this project has been keeping me very busy, but I still find time to write.  The story I’m currently working on revolves around people fighting over things they have no stake in.  Like the Lakers or Bulls.  Xbox or Playstation.  American or cheddar cheese. 

I visit a lot of forums/message boards, especially with the addition of 45+ websites I advertised on for The Memory Eater, and I’m constantly coming across people bickering about the thing they root for being THE BEST, therefore making them superior.  It’s a trend that got me thinking—if these people are so consumed by products, what’s happening to their own lives?

So in my story, a man who spends his days fighting on the internet about his army of products being superior to the competition is blind to the fact that his real life is caving in on him.  His job catches on to his neglect of work duties, while his wife begins despising the bitter person he’s becoming.  And in the end if he doesn’t choose reality over the internet, well, in the balancing scale of life, one can be up but the other must come crashing down.

That is my story, but what I really want to showcase is a hilarious fight I came across while gathering ideas.  I found it on a video game forum, and the title of the thread is, “Who is the lamest superhero?”  With a title like that, I knew there would be some interesting arguments, and boy was I right.  I had to shorten the battle because more people got involved and it was simply too long, but here is the condensed version.

WARNING: the following contains immature comments and disguised cursing

Who is the lamest superhero?

ANTI CA: Captain America. Come on, he has no powers and all he does is throw a shield around wearing a costume.

PRO CA: cap has no powers? are you retarded? Not only is he a super soldier with a shield that can withstand anything. He has been fighting since 1942 with a brief break of being frozen. So he is the most polished hand to hand fighter in the Marvel Universe. He has never lost a fistfight, not even to Spider-man or someone much stronger. Captain America is a freaking BOSS.

ANTI CA: "He has never lost a fistfight."  False. Iron Man beats the crap out of Captain America the first time they fight during the Marvel Civil War.

PRO CA: oh please, Captain America was not even trying because he did not think the war would become serious. The second time they fought in Civil War Captain America could have killed iron man easy.

ANTI CA: Regardless of your personal feelings about Iron Man, he still beat Captain America. And considering that the official government line at the time was superhero registration...if anyone was a traitor, it sure wasn't Iron Man.

PRO CA: uh yea he was, and to ur little argument. Captain America beat Iron Man the second time. So suck on that.

Iron Man is not even a superhero, He just has a suit that his dad invented and he found in the basement. That is his real backstory, he also has a viatmin deficiency so he needs to take lots of iron supplements and thats why he calls himself iron man. That leads to mile retardation and his real suit is made of tin. The other heros just feel bad for him, so they let him hang around.

ANTI CA: No, he wasn't. Traitors fight against the government, not for it. I never said Captain America didn't win the second time--but you seem unable to accept that he lost the first time.

PRO CA: TRAITORS LOCK ALL THEIR FRIENDS IN JAIL AND SELL OUT EVERYTHING THEY BELIEVE IN. IRON MAN WAS THE TRAITOR. the only reason it appeared that iron man beat him the first time was that captain america was not trying. Look, if u wanna have ghey buttseks wit iron man than fine, he is into that. But leave Cap out of it, Cap is a hero. Look at iron mans ghey little plan in fear itself. "hey im iron man, lets build a city for the ass guardians" well look at that, the genious got them mad and they left and now thor is on death row with evil assguardians coming to destroy earth. Wow good idea iron man. Awesome, thanks, got anymore cool plans. Oh yea like your plan to make being a superhero illegial unless u work for the gov, that worked out sweet too. Wow iron butthole is sooooo smart and kewl huh?

ANTI CA: The funny thing is I'm not even a huge comic book fan, but I happen to know a little...and I know from reading Civil War that Iron Man beat the crap out Captain America.

PRO CA: Oh please first of all Iron Man sucks. All you have to do is get a big magnet and he will be stuck to it. Secondly, Ironman is a traitor and he is lucky Captain America did not kill him the second time. Thirdly, IronMan is an a hole and got spiderman to reveal his identity with no regard for spideys feelings. I hate Ironman for what he did in civil war and Captain America should have killed him when he was on top of him about to do it, The only reason he didnt is because Captain America is cool and is too good for that. But Ironman is a jerky douche laughing when Cap is in jail. The dude just spared his life and hes a cocky jerk about it. F U IRONBOY, I HATE U



  1. Thank you for that moment of pure comedy gold! "All you have to do is get a big magnet and he will be stuck to it...."


  2. I couldn't believe what I was reading, but I'm happy I did, lol. I can't even come up with material like that. Maybe I should contact him and buy some of his rants:)

  3. Same here, couldn't believe this!
    Thanks for sharing this.
    "There, by for the grace of God, go I." :-)