Come Say Hi

There will be a Memory Eater update coming this weekend (I’m just finalizing all of the details), but until then, come say hi to me this Sunday (3/4/12) at the Ends of Man anthology launch party.  My second place story, along with another, are part of this collection.  There will be prizes, and conversations with the authors and discounted prices on the books, so don't miss out!  Full details below:

EVENT: Sunday March 4th

WHERE:  http://zharmaepublishing.wordpress.com/

WHAT:  Live launch for the Ends of Man anthology

WHEN: 7-9pm Eastern time

WHAT: Live chat and blogging will be with authors of the book and representatives from Zharmae

PRIZES: 2 Barnes and Noble $25 gift cards, 2 $25 Amazon gift cards, *2 $25 donations to the charity of your choice, free critique of an original work of fiction by Zharmae staff.

BONUS: Cover Design for self publishing author's original work of fiction.

*Charity must be a recognized organization

OTHER: Special launch price for print and ebook

Hope to see you there!

Free Upcoming Contests

I've rounded up information about a few writing contests that are fast approaching.  If you love competition, like me, then the following will probably make your mind explode with ideas.

Deadline:  2/29/2012

Contest Name:  2012 Writing Contest

For:  Writers

Theme:  Anything goes

Submit:  Fiction up to 1,500 words

Prizes:  $500 for 1^st and $200 for 2^nd

Website:  http://www.witf.org/contests-and-giveaways/enter-the-2012-writing-contest-short-story-competition

Deadline:  2/29/2012

Contest Name:  Write While You Wait

For:  Writers

Theme:  Use these five words: hullabaloo, contest, hurry up and wait, kimchi, beer

Submit:  Fiction up to 150 words

Prizes:  $25

Website:  http://www.mr-jordan.net/

Deadline:  3/1/2012

Contest Name:  The East India Press Short Story Contest

For:  Writers

Theme:  Good writing/optional setting

Submit:  Fiction up to 2,500 words

Prizes:  $1,000, publication and manuscript consideration

Website:  http://nightingalenovel.com/contest.html

Deadline:  3/2/2012

Contest Name:  Next Top Artist

For:  Artists and writers

Theme:  Anything goes

Submit:  Fiction/nonfiction novel excerpt up to 5,000 words or a drawing

Prizes:  $5,000 and advertisement of artwork/critique of manuscript

Website:  http://www.tarchertopartist.com/official-rules/

Deadline:  3/15/2012

Contest Name:  Annual Ultra-Short Competition

For:  Writers and poets

Theme:  Anything goes

Submit:  Fiction or poetry up to 150 words

Prizes:  $300

Website:  http://www.umm.maine.edu/ultra-short-competition.html

Deadline:  4/9/2012

Contest Name:  "If you can write…"

For:  Writers

Theme:  Ideals based on the poem "IF"

Submit:  Fiction up to 6,700 words and nonfiction up to 2,500 words

Prizes:  $500 for 1^st, cash prizes for 2^nd and 3^rd, and publication in online magazine

Website:  http://www.allthingsif.org/if-you-can-write

The Memory Eater is Coming

I’ve been a bit slow with the blog posts lately, but this is the calm before the storm.  I’ve been meticulously preparing The Memory Eater for launch, and with over 50 contributors, there are a lot of checks to be made.  Not to mention that Word’s weapon of choice, formatting, nearly whooped me into submission.

But the near-finished product (about 95% complete) has turned out so amazingly well, thanks to the hard work of many, that I’m bursting with excitement to share it with the world.

I will be posting more updates in the coming weeks about what’s next for the anthology, specifically when and where it can be purchased.

I appreciate everyone who has followed this journey.  You’ve watched a mere idea from inside my head snowball into what’s here today.  It’s been long (like that car crawling in the passing lane you want to drive off the road), and hard, and frustrating, and there were a handful of professional authors wizards who tried to bring down this idea from the get go, but the positive support from many has kept me pushing forward.

So I just want to say thank you to all of those people who wanted to help.  Even if you said something nice in passing, it has really meant the world to me.

The Curse of Creativity!

Okay, so there are a lot of pros and cons of being a writer.  You can work whenever and wherever you want.  It’s hard work, it takes a long time, and people throw tomatoes at you.  You can make people fall in love with your fantasies or cause them to stop reading fiction altogether.

But there’s one big anchor, in my mind, that is always dragging me near the shore of writing.  It’s a switch I have a hard time turning off.

What I’m talking about are endless possibilities.  Creativity.  Getting an idea everywhere I go.

I’m not sure how other people work, but during relaxation periods, or what should be relaxation periods, an idea always drills itself into my mind.

Playing a video game…idea!

Reading a book…idea!

Watching any movie, even Flubber…idea!

Everywhere we turn, everything we see, it was all inspired by ideas.  And for most forms of entertainment, there’s a form of writing behind them.  Video games.  Books (obviously).  Television shows.  Movies.  Commercials.  Websites.  Songs.  Everything.

I think the problem is, being creative-based, having endless possibilities, I see something great and am inspired to bring my writing to that level.  I see something horrible, and I’m inspired to create something better.  It’s always a lose-lose situation.

Halfway into a book, I’ll put it down forever, and come away with three new ideas.  Halfway into a movie, I can’t concentrate fully, because I’m imagining a character similar to the lead actor, or I get a new idea for a plot, or theme, or object.

What I’m saying is, it’s hard when the creative switch is always left on, to fully enjoy the entertainment the world has to offer.  To invest 100%, heck, even 75% into something.  To give it my full attention.

I’ve been doing better lately.  One of my resolutions was to give writing and me some space.  Enjoy other things.  To accept the fact that not every plot can be neatly wrapped up.  That not every story can be finished.  That in time, maybe they will.  But don’t lose any sleep over works-in-progress or a brain full of ideas. 

Doing other things like spending time with family, enjoying free time, working out, they’re all essential to being happy mentally and physically.  Balance.  It’s all about balance.

What are some of the ways you keep your head from exploding?  From creativity driving you mad?

Get Sidetracked (plus a Memory Eater sneak peek)

As I’ve been pussyfooting around flirting with my writing lately, I found some cool writing-related websites to mess around with.  Here they are, brought to you list style:

Wordle

This is a useful site that allows you to transform a bunch of text (even full manuscripts) into word clouds.  The words you use the most will appear the biggest, thus helping you trim some of the monotony out of your writing. 

As an example, I submitted the 27 story titles from The Memory Eater, and this was the result.

So for those keeping an eye out for the anthology, there are the scrambled titles.

Evolver

I always see authors list the characters in their stories along with celebrity photos of who would/will play them.  I recently found a better alternative—make your own characters.  Evolver gives you the option to start off with a full model character or upload your own photo.  Then you transform the model or photo into your vision of your character, bringing them into a full, unique life.

"I used to wear normal clothes like you, but then I took an arrow to the knee." 

Lulu Titlescorer

This is a little form where you plug in your manuscript’s title information, and it will tell you the percentage of it being a bestseller.

The title The Memory Eater has a 35.9% chance of being a bestselling title!

The title Taking a Bath with Hot Chocolate has a 55.4% chance of being a bestselling title!

Typeracer

Think you’re fast at typing?  Is it not only crucial to your hobby, but also your job?  Can you type faster with your two pointer fingers than the average person using ten?  Then head on over to Typeracer and enter their global typing competition.  For fun, of course.

750 Words

This site allows and encourages you to write 750 words per day.  It hosts and saves your work so you can access it anywhere with internet connection.

Autocorrect Fail

Hilarious text messages which are skewed by an evil phone overlord…or by the phone’s actual autocorrect feature.

12 Writer Resolutions for 2012

Since it's the New Year (Happy New Year, everyone!), I've got some helpful writer resolutions to share.  So here we go...

1. Make time to write:

Let's see...sleep, work, eat, family time.  Chances are, your pie chart leaves about 5% of the day's time for your own personal enjoyment.  What to do with that time?  Relax, partake in a hobby, or write?  I know it doesn't sound too appealing when put that way, so what I try to do is wedge writing time in whenever I can.  If you follow this blog, you know I write at work.  But here are some tips for those who find it hard to wedge time into their day.

Brainstorm on the go.  If you don't have a phone, carry a little pad and pen around with you.  Surely, throughout the course of the day, you can jot down a couple of ideas.  Doing this will spark some motivation, and the more you think about your ideas, the more compelled you'll be to expand upon them.

If you're on the computer a lot at work, especially communicating through emails, open up an email to send to yourself.  In between whatever you're doing, brainstorm some more.  Or leave a Word document up in the background.  Can't use Word?  Use WordPad.

Can't write something down at the moment?  I don't believe you.  But if you truly believe you can't, use your head.  Surely you have some time to think to yourself.  Bathroom, anyone?  Think about your ideas, then when you get a chance, write them down.  The good stuff will usually stick, I promise.

2. Read more:

A good way to become a great writer is by studying them.  Sure, enjoy the books you're reading, but become more critical of them.  Watch how they craft sentences and introduce characters and where the actual story begins.  If you have questions about your craft, see how your favorite writers answer them within their own text.

3. Try something new:

Writing in the same genre?  The same POV?  Are your characters and narrators the same in every story?  Step outside of your comfort level and attempt a new idea.  A different genre, POV, character, even style.  Break rules and see what works.  Be daring and go for that crazy twist you've stumbled upon.  Not only will doing this open up the structure of your writing, but it will refresh your mind.  Perhaps it will even get you excited about writing again.

4. Listen to criticism:

When I used to attend writing workshops, 95% of the time when a participant said something negative about an author's work, that author would retort and try to justify their intentions.  Just shut up and listen.  People don't typically make negative comments about your work because they hate you.  They merely saw something you didn't.  With our own work, it's nearly impossible to separate all the errors.  Be thankful you have fresh eyes to scan your work-in-progress, because people barely find time to read published works anymore.

5. Set some goals:

And make them reasonable.  You know where you're at in your writing career, so chances are, you know the next step.  Do you want to get a professional short story sale?  Land an agent?  Get a positive rejection letter from...anyone?  Set it as your goal and strive to hit it in 2012.  Think landing an agent is too hard?  Set several goals.  Now don't set 32 and be content with just hitting one.

For me, I'm hoping to 1. Win a major competition, 2. Land an agent, 3. Land a publisher.

6. Finish something:

If you're like me, you have several folders, maybe Novels, Short Stories, In Progress, et cetera.  Inside those dreaded folders, I'm sure there are works half-finished, barely started, written but needing edits, written and edited but not good enough, and so on and so forth.  It's time to get in there and bring a story up to your standards.  Open that half-finished story and get it done.  Whatever it takes, make it a goal to cross that story off your list.  Choose the story which you think has the most potential.  Then put your targets on it and get to work.  Nothing is as refreshing as moving a story from the "In Progress" folder to the "Ready to Submit" folder.

7. Get rejected:

Submit your work!  I always see authors acting hesitant when it comes to sending out queries and stories.  If you're happy with the status of your project, then just get it out there already.  Think of it this way: to get published, you're going to have to stand in line for awhile.  So the longer you wait to submit, the longer you'll have to wait in general.  If you're receiving rejections, that means you're trying.  Plus wouldn't it be nice to free up some folder space?

8. Take it easier on yourself:

You're not curing world hunger.  You're not saving someone's life.  Unless you've written a non-fiction story about a friend stuck in a well.  Then you better get that thing published fast to give the paramedics enough time to rescue your friend.  But other than that, you're writing to entertain.  How silly is it to belittle yourself over not entertaining others?  Did you key your coworker's car?  Not pick up your dog's poop in the neighbor's yard?  Tell your kid, "I'm sorry, son, but it looks like Walmart recalled that movie you insist upon watching four times every day.  Yeah, and that other one, too."?  Then maybe you should beat yourself up.  But not over a story.

9. Stop worrying:

Rejections, plots not panning out, flat characters, losing work, not being good enough, losing a competition.  So what?  We all started with a blank Word page, right?  Who cares if we end up with a document and a bunch of messy words.  At least we're trying.  The worst that can happen is we create something we feel, or someone else feels, isn't good enough.  Even so, the writing we do after the fact will be better.  We'll be more focused.  Unless this isn't your hobby, and you get fired for making a mistake, stop worrying about a hobby.

10. Be patient:

This applies to both writing and where to publish.  I see many authors rush through work and self-published.  Ask yourself, do you want to make a few bucks to show a handful of people mediocre work?  Or would you rather make a few bucks and blow them away?  Have them come back?  Also, I see many authors settle fairly early in the querying department.  What I mean is, there are a lot of publishing options out there, and a lot of big fish.  Why settle for someone unknown who will publish you tomorrow when you can attempt to place your work with a big time publisher or land a high profile agent down the line?

It's simple: do you want to settle?  Or do you want to take note of what rejections say, then rework your story to make it the best it can be?  Sure, it takes more effort, but in the end, do you want to be known as one of the millions of self-publishers, or would you rather aim for specific name recognition?

11. Don't get jealous:

We've got Amanda Hocking who wrote a bunch of books and then self-published and sold them digitally for .99 cents a pop, netting her millions of sales.  We've got J. K Rowling who was a single parent living on state benefits writing those Harry Potter books on a typewriter.  Then we've got the Twilight books which aren't written very well, yet people will slice you for dissing those dreamy characters.  Point is, don't be jealous of these authors.  Of their success.  Call it luck, or talent, or baffling, but what these people have accomplished has no weight in the grand scheme of your life.  So don't bother yourself with other's success when it won't help your writing career.  Focus on you.  Focus on your own personal goals.  Be happy and feel fortunate that you have two hands to write with.  Or that you have enough money to afford a computer.  Or a pen and paper.  If you're reading this, perhaps you're even fortunate enough to own a home.  Be grateful for these things, because many don't have them.

12. If your idea has run dry, stop milking it:

Like this list.  I didn't have a number 12, but the title clearly states "12 resolutions", so I had to force one more out. 

On a side note, I hope to have an update on the Memory Eater anthology soon.

People Don't Grow on Trees (An Embarrassing Email)

I got a link from my wife yesterday directing me towards some investment banker’s interesting scary email to a girl he just went on a date with.  I guess the short of it is, at the last minute, a friend canceled meeting this guy, Mike, at the Philharmonic, so Lauren ended up filling in.  After one date, this is the email Lauren received (NOTE: As a blog dedicated to writing, I’m going to highlight some awesome lines we could all use in our stalker/crazy-person related stories):

Hi Lauren,

I’m disappointed in you. I’m disappointed that I haven’t gotten a response to my voicemail and text messages.

FYI, I suggest that you keep in mind that emails sound more impersonal, harsher, and are easier to misinterpret than in-person or phone communication. After all, people can't see someone's body language or tone of voice in an email. I'm not trying to be harsh, patronizing, or insulting in this email. I'm honest and direct by nature, and I'm going to be that way in this email. By the way, I did a google search, so that’s how I came across your email.

I assume that you no longer want to go out with me. (If you do want to go out with me, then you should let me know.) I suggest that you make a sincere apology to me for giving me mixed signals. I feel led on by you.

Things that happened during our date include, but are not limited to, the following:

-You played with your hair a lot. A woman playing with her hair is a common sign of flirtation. You can even do a google search on it. When a woman plays with her hair, she is preening. I've never had a date where a woman played with her hair as much as you did. In addition, it didn't look like you were playing with your hair out of nervousness.

-We had lots of eye contact during our date. On a per-minute basis, I've never had as much eye contact during a date as I did with you.

-You said, "It was nice to meet you." at the end of our date. A woman could say this statement as a way to show that she isn't interested in seeing a man again or she could mean what she said--that it was nice to meet you. The statement, by itself, is inconclusive.

-We had a nice conversation over dinner. I don't think I'm being delusional in saying this statement.

In my opinion, leading someone on (i.e., giving mixed signals) is impolite and immature. It’s bad to do that.

Normally, I would not be asking for information if a woman and I don't go out again after a first date. However, in our case, I'm curious because I think our date went well and that there is a lot of potential for a serious relationship. Of course, it's difficult to predict what would happen, but I think there is a lot of potential for a serious relationship developing between us one day (or least there was before your non-response to my voicemail and text messages).

I think we should go out on a second date. In my opinion, our first date was good enough to lead to a second date.

Why am I writing you? Well, hopefully, we will go out again. Even if we don't, I gain utility from expressing my thoughts to you. In addition, even if you don't want to go out again, I would like to get feedback as to why you wouldn't want to go again. Normally, I wouldn't ask a woman for this type of feedback after a first date, but this is an exception given I think we have a lot of potential.

If you don't want to go again, then apparently you didn't think our first date was good enough to lead to a second date. Dating or a relationship is not a Hollywood movie. It’s good to keep that in mind. In general, I thought the date went well and was expecting that we would go out on a second date.

If you're not interested in going out again, then I would have preferred if you hadn't given those mixed signals. I feel led on. We have a number of things in common. I’ll name a few things:

First, we’ve both very intelligent. Second, we both like classical music so much that we go to classical music performances by ourselves. In fact, the number one interest that I would want to have in common with a woman with whom I’m in a relationship is a liking of classical music. I wouldn’t be seriously involved with a woman if she didn’t like classical music. You said that you're planning to go the NY Philharmonic more often in the future. As I said, I go to the NY Philharmonic often. You're very busy. It would be very convenient for you to date me because we have the same interests. We already go to classical music performances by ourselves. If we go to classical music performances together, it wouldn't take any significant additional time on your part. According to the internet, you’re 33 or 32, so, at least from my point of view, we’re a good match in terms of age.

I could name more things that we have in common, but I’ll stop here. I don’t understand why you apparently don’t want to go out with me again. We have numerous things in common. I assume that you find me physically attractive. If you didn’t find me physically attractive, then it would have been irrational for you to go out with me in the first place. After all, our first date was not a blind date. You already knew what I looked like before our date. Perhaps, you’re unimpressed that I manage my family’s investments and my own investments. Perhaps, you don’t think I have a “real” job. Well, I’ve done very well as an investment manager. I’ve made my parents several millions of dollars. That’s real money. That’s not monopoly money. In my opinion, if I make real money, it’s a real job. Donald Trump’s children work for his company. Do they have “real” jobs? I think so. George Soros’s sons help manage their family investments. Do they have “real” jobs? I think so. In addition, I’m both a right-brain and left-brain man, given that I’m both an investment manager and a philosopher/writer. That’s a unique characteristic; most people aren’t like that.

I’ve never been as disappointed and sad about having difficulty about getting a second date as I am with you. I've gone out with a lot of women in my life. (FYI, I'm not a serial dater. Sometimes, I've only gone out with a woman for one date.) People don’t grow on trees. I hope you appreciate the potential we have.

Am I sensitive person? Sure, I am. I think it's better to be sensitive than to be insensitive. There are too many impolite, insensitive people in the world.

I suggest that we continue to go out and see what happens. Needless to say, I find you less appealing now (given that you haven’t returned my messages) than I did at our first date. However, I would be willing to go out with you again. I’m open minded and flexible and am willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. I wish you would give me the benefit of the doubt too. If you don't want to go out again, in my opinion, you would be making a big mistake, perhaps one of the biggest mistakes in your life. If you don’t want to go out again, then you should have called to tell me so. Even sending a text message would have been better than nothing. In my opinion, not responding to my messages is impolite, immature, passive aggressive, and cowardly. I spent time, effort, and money meeting you for dinner. Getting back to me in response to my messages would have been a reasonable thing for you to do. In addition, you arrived about 30 minutes late for our date. I’m sure you wouldn’t like it if a man showed up thirty minutes late for a first date with you.

If you're concerned that you will hurt my feelings by providing specific information about why you don't want to go with me again, well, my feeling are already hurt. I'm sad and disappointed about this situation. If you give information, at least I can understand the situation better. I might even learn something that is beneficial.

If you don't want to go out again, that I request that you call me and make a sincere apology for leading me on (i.e., giving me mixed signals). In my opinion, you shouldn't act that way toward a man and then not go out with him again. It’s bad to play with your hair so much and make so much eye contact if you’re not interested in going out with me again.

I have tried to write this email well, but it's not perfect. Again, I'm not trying to be harsh, insulting, patronizing, etc. I'm disappointed, sad, etc. I would like to talk to you on the phone. I hope you will call me back at xxx-xxx-xxxx> (if it’s inconvenient for you to talk on the phone when you read this email, you can let me know via email that you are willing to talk on the phone and I’ll call you). If you get my voicemail, you can a leave a message and I can call you back. Even if you don't want to go out again, I would appreciate it if you give me the courtesy of calling me and talking to me. Yes, you might say things that hurt me, but my feelings are already hurt. Sending me an email response (instead of talking on the phone) would better than no response at all, but I think it would be better to talk on the phone. Email communication has too much potential for misinterpretation, etc.

Best, Mike

Bottom of Form

So which of the four guys above fits the narrative?  (I couldn't find any pictures without someone holding an animal)

It’s kind of funny at first, but then it gets a little scary, huh?  If Mike (if that’s his real name) just cut some of the repeating phrases out and cleaned up some areas, especially the bloated paragraphs, I think this would be a real winner.

I think Mike is a very unique character who writers can learn a lot from.  Even though we don’t have a picture of him, his dialogue alone paints a visual.  His harping on the same issue over and over tells us he’s desperate/obsessive.  And the fact that he can’t accept rejection tells us he’d never make it as a writer.  Can you imagine this guy querying agents/publishers and getting nothing but rejections/non-responses?

But there are some gems in this email that are worth using.  And Mike, as a character in a story, sounds very intriguing.